27 August 2013

Amusing Amazon Review

Everyone who's ever wondered around Amazon reading reviews knows some are good, some are bad, and some...funny.

Amazon has complied some of the more amusing:
Here's a sample:

Three Wolf Shirt
"Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather."
"I believe that wearing this t-shirt has made me a better man, which is remarkable because, well....I'm a chick."
"I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie."

Banana Slicer
"What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?"
"Gone are the days of biting off slice-sized chunks of banana and spitting them onto a serving tray…. Next on my wish list: a kitchen tool for dividing frozen water into cube-sized chunks.”
"As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.”

BIC Ball Pen - For her

"I don't use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application, but BIC Cristal for Her is a lovely little writing utensil all the same. Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today!"
"This product is fantastic for those days when my prose is suffering from that not-so-fresh feeling."

Horse Head Mask
"It's not big enough to completely cover a horse's head, and it doesn't provide enough air flow for them, either."
"By wearing this mask, I was able to get anything and everything I needed. Plenty of hay, lots of time to run and, best of all, I no longer have to wear pants."
"It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways."

Milk, 1 gallon
"Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"
"Do you have any idea where this stuff comes from? It's excreted by squeezing the wobbly thingie on the UNDERSIDE OF A COW! That's hardly made clear anywhere on the label."
"They really need to put a warning label on this thing. Apparently, if you put it into your body, it turns into urine. Urine!"

Uranium Ore
"I was very disappointed to have my uranium confiscated at the airport. It was a gift for my son for his birthday. Also, I'm in prison now, so that's not good either."
"It is not cat food…. The cat's huge and well, doesn't really look much like a cat anymore."
"I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."

Wheelmate Laptop Steering wheel desk
"It's OK Iguess, but the bumpy road majkes it hard to type. And theree's a lot of pedeestrians and traffic that keep distracting me fromm my computer."
"I love emailing the Highway patrol while I drive to let them know the tag numbers of cell phone using drivers."
"I'm using it right now to post this review and I never"

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