Worst Romance Covers 2013

This week's instalment of Cover Cafe's romance cover competition is... Worst Romance Covers.
Last week we looked at the best - this week we're covering the other side of the scale.

This is the category that authors (myself included) dread being nominated for. When I get that email and my finger always hovers nervously before I can bring myself to open the cover art file. So far I've been able to breath a sigh of relief. These poor authors are less lucky...

The full list, first to tenth is on the Cover Cafe site, but here are a few to wet your appetite for... less.

In first place: 

The Search is Over

The scary trend for this year is started with this cover - computer generated people. I'm sorry but they all just look weird and plastic.

Sunny also wasn't impressed. "Ugh. These bad CGI art covers have to go. Maybe those two guys are supposed to look like giant latex dildos, and maybe her breasts are supposed to look like frozen hams (and what the heck, are they training her to mime an invisible wall?) But if this is the best you can do at drawing what I assume is supposed to be sexy romance, please give it up and turn to technical manuals or Japanese robot fetish fantasies."

Elyse: "Nothing says romance like a badly-dressed woman with oddly-shaped breasts being restrained from behind by hairless conjoined twins. Seriously, the bald guys are standing so close they MUST be joined at the hip, with only two arms between them. I'm pretty sure the right one also lacks genitalia, and nipples are doubtful. I'll keep searching, thank you very much."

Fourth place goes to:
Wild Things Lost

More plastic people, this time they're both wearing wigs, and what's with his expression he looks like he hasn't a thought in his head other than staring weirdly at her chest.

from Lynn P.: "You know how when you were little and played with your Ken and Barbie dolls -- and you would end up losing some of their clothes? And then you would just make do with what you had left? This cover is the result. He looks like a plastic doll -- particularly the area where his hips join the rest of his body. He also looks like what your Ken doll looked like when you decided to play beauty shop and cut his hair. She is a little bit better but still looks like a plastic doll. His stare is also really creepy."

Robin B. was rendered speechless: "I have no words...."

In ninth place:
Sweet Delight

Which really isn't much of a sweet delight. I like most of the commenter's can't get past the fake tattoo - in fact it's so bad I didn't even immediately realise it was a tattoo.

Cover Cafe's Mary Lynne: "Ah, the higher glories of the Worst category. How can I choose? Should I opt for the amateurism ofEntangled? The overly busy bodies on Perfect Mate andRetribution? The creepy android-like people of The Search is Over, On Thin Ice, and Lost? The use and abuse of babies and dogs on Baby Papers and Animal Attraction? The eerie shininess of the man's body on Desperately Seeking Fireman? They are all pretty awful. But there is just so much wrong onSweet Delight. There's the way the man's body proportions don't quite work--that torso looks a bit too Photoshopped. There's that godawful paw that's just slapped on the image. But let's face it. The guy's wearing a Speedo. In today's day and age, that earns you the worst label no matter what

In case you've forgotten, here's the winner and runner up from last year (last year's list). While there are some shockers this year - the CGI especially - I almost feel that last year was worse. So, that's got to be good hasn't it...

Best Cover Competition

It's that time of year again. The Cover Cafe's romance covers competition results are in.
This week the the winner - next week you guess it the cringe contenders.

So the best of 2013 (follow links to get full list):

Avant Garde:

In First Place:

Lady of Ashes

Cover Cafe's Mary Alice says: "This cover is captivating. The gray, foggy, gloomy background gives this an other-worldly feeling to the cover. The stark black outfit of the woman, combined with the lily white hand and just a peek of her face makes her seem so frail and vulnerable. The lacy parasol and font give it a Victorian setting. And the red rose held behind her give it a romantic element. The red of the font leads me to believe she has something to hide. "

 Pieces For You is one of two covers tied for 7th place. 

I liked this one because the colours stand out and it's just that little bit different. 

Cora B. says: "I love the graphic style and the simplicity of the cover as well as the contrast between the bright blue and the black background. And that little red heart inside the phoenix is just perfect."

Contemporary:

 

In first place in the contemporary category:

Horizon

Okay, it's the loverly flame dress.

Elyse found humor in the flaming dress: “The dress, of course! It's mesmerizing! Although I'm a bit worried the heroine will be scorched, I'll assume she has special powers to protect her legs from those flames!”

 Two other covers in the contemporary category. 

 Water Witch (2nd place) has a lovely sensual feel,
and the colours on Carolina Girl (12th place) are so evocative.  

Historical:

First Place in the Historical Category:
Forsaken Dreams

I think it's the dress that wins this one as well. It almost looks like the inside of a paua/abalone shell. Plus there's all that misty mystery.

Of course, there was that stunning dress. Judy W. said: "This category is filled to the brim with women standing in beautiful dresses but I liked this one best. The smoky effect of the fog that almost matches the blue of her dress and the cloudy sky that looks about to erupt makes this cover really moody looking. Love it."

Clockwork Princess came in third, and I have to say I loved it. It's the ideal bookworm cover :) the magic of the book takes centre stage and the rest of the cover keeps pace.

Caro said: "The open book with the light coming out got me right away. That's what I feel every time I open a book - excitement to see a story shine."

Sheila S.: "There are so many things going on in this cover that make you want to read the book. Also love the dress she is wearing."

Two Image Covers

And finally the winner of the Two Image Covers Category:
Winter Queen

Michelle W. commented: “This is a beautiful image and it blends perfectly as a wraparound cover. No jolting change. It evokes the fantasy theme of the book. Lovely colour palette of purples used, from darkest almost-black to lavender and mauve, suiting the winter of the title...”

Fire-eaters, Industrial Espionage & Dragons

It's finally out!

Fire-eaters, industrial espionage, undercover agents and dragons -- you know you want some :)
Embraced by Fire is now available on Amazon.

The last thing Ryu McKay needs on a mission to expose a black market information ring is a simmering attraction to his boss. Not only is he undercover, he needs to keep his shape-shifter identity a secret. Despite his desire, he dare not act on his attraction. 

For Kait, excitement and that one special man exist only in her dreams. However, everything changes when Ryu walks into her office looking for a job as a fire-eater. Now she wants nothing more than to turn her dreams into reality. 

Kait's attraction to Ryu grows, but can it survive the secrets he's hiding? Like the fire with which he plays, this man is dangerous.

PS: Sorry, but I'm afraid non-Amazonians will have to wait until March for the worldwide release (print & all other eBook stores).

Marriage Proposals

A little while ago I posted a fun marriage proposal, I thought it would be nice to post a few more.

In game love:

When the movies come to life:

Super sweet:

Fantastic sex & writing

On a regular basis, fantasy writer Patrick Rothfuss hosts a panel. The one below is very interesting - from my point of view anyway. If I had to pick two genres in which I primarily read they would be fantasy & romance. The issue that these four fantasy writers are discussing, namely writing sex scenes, is one that writers of romance have been dealing with for a long time. It's something I struggle with as a writer, I'm not out to write sex books, I'm out to write good stories. Good stories where a high proportion of that story is about two people over coming obstacles and ending up together. Ending up together involves sex.... so what and how to writer that?
How much is too much?
And likewise is your reader going to feel cheated if too little is covered on page?  etc.

10 Tips for Fantastic Sex - The Story Board Ep. 7



On a related note, thinking of writers who did sex well, I could think off three (pre 2000) off the top of my head: Judith Tarr, Juliet Marillier & Anne McCaffrey.
However, as time passes, more of the sex is happening on page.

As an unrelated note, I thoroughly enjoyed Patrick Rothfuss's 1st book "The name of the Wind" and have his 2nd one sitting on my shelf. I've held off starting it until the next book comes out so I can have a long sit don with the series. As a writer I can understand why the next book is not out yet, as a reader I'm champing at the bit.
I also really enjoyed the first two books by Peter Brett and am off to buy his latest one after this.
Guy Gavriel Kay - The author Jacqueline Carey mentions is also very good

PS: sorry this is quite a long video

Romance Novels - Why the scorn?

Why do some people scorn romance novels? Why do others feel shame for reading them?
We've all been there, on one side or the other. 
I'll admit, even as a self-confessed reader of romance, as well a published author in the genre, I've felt the need to hide my love of romance novels. Why? Why do so many of us feel this way? Why do we anticipate such negative responses from people when we share the truth?

Ms Rodale did some research for her master degree at New York University.  "Despite their popularity and profitability, romance novels have long been scorned and ridiculed as trashy literature. Is it the covers? Is because the audience and authors are largely comprised of women? Or it something else..." By Maya Rodale

Have a gander at this video for more: 

The Science of Kissing

Hi All

Sorry no post last week, time escaped on me, and before I knew it I had lost a week.

So this week – kissing.

Who knew there was a whole field of scientific research devoted to this core enjoyable element of life - and core element of romance novels ;)

Well, the scientists who study it obviously knew, but for the rest of us it’s the study of philematology.

Want to know more – of course you do. Who doesn’t want more on kissing.

It turns out that kissing isn’t as simple as a fun way to show affection (or luurve), it’s all a bit more complex than that.

Many philemantologists – those who study kissing – agree that it developed as a way for mothers to pass pre-chewed food to their infants (think of birds who still do this, albeit without lips). However, that doesn’t explain a romantic meeting of lips between adults. As with so many things it turn out men & women may have different motivations. Snippets of an article below go some way to explaining.

“...According to Gordon Gallup Jr., a psychologist at the State University of New York at Albany, "females are much more prone to use kissing as a mate assessment device... and even within an ongoing relationship, they use kissing as a way to update and monitor its status”... Men, by contrast, use kissing as a means to an end—that is, sex. They were far more willing to have sex without kissing, his study found, and while a bad first kiss can be a deal-breaker for both genders, men are more willing to go ahead and have sex with someone whose kiss is unpleasant.

And how is all this assessment and evaluation being conducted? "At the moment of a kiss, there is a very complicated exchange of all kinds of different information," says Gallup. Some of it is in chemical form. Contained in male saliva, for example, are small amounts of testosterone, which is known to boost libido in both genders. It's possible, Gallup says, that repeated and prolonged exposure—that is, many make-out sessions over days and weeks and months—may increase the female's sex drive. (That might explain why men prefer sloppier kisses than women, too—they're trying to get her in the mood.)...”

Then of course there’s pheromones and all sorts of other chemical signals. Kissing means getting close enough to smell and taste, and smell also covers chemicals which may be present in saliva that are volatilized and sensed by the nasal cavity. All together this means is the building blocks for helping us determine whether someone is a good genetic match.

Finally the article added “...Kissing may also reinforce pair bonding, helping to maintain relationships. Research by Wendy Hill, a neuroscientist as well as provost and dean of the faculty at Lafayette College, has shown that kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol...”

All that & fun too  :x

  

Full article here :x

 

Best contemporary covers.

Okay these are the last of the covers from the cover cafe contest. This post will cover three categories: contemporary, series, & two image, so I've only picked the top 2 from each. Why have I bunched them up rather than a post on each? I'm going to have to shrug and say whim.

 1st place contemporary:
Nice composition and color, and lets be honest you can't go past his bod.

As Kati put it, it’s “abtastically delicious!”

Other voters were attracted by the sports theme. Sue T. was one of them. “I absolutely love this cover! This is one of my all-time favorites; that pose just seems to typify all of the hard work and sweat that goes into making someone into a professional athlete.”

Cover Cafe’s Jeanette summed up the appeal of this cover: “Do I have to explain? No, I don’t think so.”

 2nd place contemporary:
 This didn't scream romance to me, but it is a lovely simple cover that draws one in, makes me want to know what's behind the image.

Many voters noted the simplicity of this cover, including Cover Cafe’s Christiane. “Simple and very heart warming. Both the author’s name and title are just the right size, they do not overwhelm the flower.”

Other voters mentioned the striking color combinations and graphic design, including Beth F.: “Beautiful colors! Unusual choice of the dogwood, no perfect people, the weathered blue wood. I want to know why! I want to read this!”
Anne H.: “Love the petals against the soft blue, very evocative.”

 1st place series:
I'm not a huge fan of cowboys so this wouldn't be my fav, but it is a nice atmospheric cover.

Sandy seemed to speak for many of the voters however when she wrote: "Cowboys have a special place in my heart, so had to give this one the nod. Honest, loyal, sexy, and hard-bodied. Who can ask for more?"

Other voters also appreciated the artistry of the cover. Lynne pointed out the “Unusual angle,[and] evocative colours…” while K.L. noted it’s “Fresh and Bold – also love the use of color.” 

 2nd place series:
I loved the connection between the characters and the fun they were having together. You can believe in their romance.

Several voters commented on the unusual pose and atmosphere: Elyse: "I like how he's trying to protect her from the rain with his hand. Ineffective yes, but sweet! They're just so joyful--not letting the nasty weather get them down."

Nana: "It's such an original pose. I like how the personalities of the characters come through - him protecting her from the rain, her so happy she flings her arm out in it. It's like Gene Kelly in cover form."

 1st place 2 image:
 I like the outside image better of the two, but hte second certainly fits with title :)

Cassie stated: "Decadent and glorious - both in colour and in the art direction. I want my bathroom to look like that." Linda added: "Forget taking a shower..would love to crawl in a tub like this with a man that looks like this!!!" And Pat exclaimed: "The bathtub, sigh! First they have a reason to be getting undressed, you can see the tub in the background. Then they are IN it! Hot."

2nd place 2 image:
 I think it's the red that catches my eyes here, and the inner image is certainly atmospheric.

Cover Cafe’s Mary Lynn stated: "There's a lot of mystery in this cover combination, from the sweep of her hair to the mists in the land she's walking through. And the connectivity between the cover and stepback is excellent: the use of red, the filigree in the corners of the images, and the movement in the hair (albeit in opposite directions!)."

Lynne C. voiced: "Love the colours! It's rich and it promises mystery. And it's left to us how the heroine appears, apart from her hair. The other covers are too cliche, apart from the Frost one, which I also liked."

Worst covers of 2011

Last week we looked at the best paranormal/fantasy romance covers of 2011, now for what we've all been waiting for... the worst.

I know, I know, it's like a car crash. You pray it doesn't happen to you, yet you can't helping looking out the corner of your eye as you pass.

1st place

 This cover would benefit from a little photoshop fading. Maybe to the point where the characters are so faded we can't see them. I get no sense of connection between the characters, and oh, lord, what is she wearing?

Laura: “Words fail me! WHAT is she wearing? And how are they staying on???...”

Other readers tried to imagine what the cover designers were thinking, including Alissa. “They are all dreadful, but this looks like badly made costumes for a “dress as your favorite pulp sci fi cover” party. Was this meant to be funny?...”


2nd place:

This is like a challenge to the reader, how many separate photoshopped images can you count? The hat, his face, her face, the man body, the woman body, the background.

Jen B.: “Where to start! The editing/cut and paste/crayons and markers are horrible! There isn’t even an attempt to hide the fact that this is more Photoshop than photo. The facial expressions and body positions make me feel dirty looking at them. I need a shower!”
Dagny: “Hardest category, hands down, they’re all so awful. I picked this one because it’s a warning to the dangers of an unsupervised Photoshop license. Also, I want as many people as possible to be warned that these mutants may breed.”
Many voters found this cover “so bad it’s funny”, including Cover Cafe’s Katherine. “there are many different types of worst covers: the scary, the gross, the way, way, way too much skin, and the funny. My favorite is the funny cover. I love a cover this is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh out loud, so I picked Sweet Temptations.

3rd place: 

 I actually kinda liked this cover, the trouble is it's completely inappropriate for a romance. It would work quite well for a high school zombie story.

This cover just did not appeal to many romance readers (although it’s described as a romance). The most common descriptions were “gross”, “icky”, “awful” and “horrid”, or as Rick put it, “I just had lunch, but this image makes my eyeballs wish they knew how to vomit.”

 4th place:

Um... ow. I don't think this is something one should do naked, on the other hand if they're not your legs maybe you can get away with it.

ome readers really liked this cover (including Cover Cafe’s Linnae) but other readers didn’t get it. This included author Carly Phillips, who laughed and commented, “It speaks for itself. ” 

Other readers noted the title, which is a play on the title of a German Christmas carol. Virginia: “I speak German, so this one really deserves a few awfulness bonus points for the pun on the Christmas carol Es ist ein Ros’ entrsprungen (There is a rose e’er blooming.)”

5th place: 

Why did they put the stalker on the cover not the hero?

Mary Jo:  “This cover has a stalker on it and needs a belle too. Without lust/love illustrated on the cover, I’m left with a vaguely “stalked” feeling as a reader. I don’t want to be scared, but involved in a romance novel.”

Lesley: “A hard choice as usual. Some are surely meant to be funny. But this guy is creepy. Is he meant to be the hero? He looks more like a serial killer.”

Zizie: “I’m all for a half-naked man on the cover, but this guy? With this title, just run, run, RUN!!!!”

More worst here

Love, Death & other essentials.

Just to show love can happen anywhere...

"When beloved director Spike Jonze, he of Being John Malkovic and Where The Wild Things Are fame, met handbag designer Olympia Le-Tan, he fell in love with her intricate embroidery and asked for an embroidered cover of Catcher in the Rye to put on his wall. Le-Tan agreed, but asked for a film in return. The result was Mourir Auprès de Toi (To Die By Your Side) — an absolutely beautiful stop-motion animation for book-lovers.

Set inside iconic Parisian bookstore, the film tells the story of the skeleton from the cover of Macbeth, voiced by Jonze himself, who falls in love with Mina Harker on the cover of Dracula. He sets out to meet her, but loses his head to a French version of The Big Clock on the way, trips and falls into Faulkner’s Sartoris, and is then swallowed by Moby-Dick. Harker, voiced by French singer Soko, springs to his rescue, punching the legendary whale in the face with a mischievous smirk. The happily-ever-after ending comes only after an appropriately dark and grim twist."

No embedding possible but here's the link: To Die by your Side.

I totally enjoyed this short :)

Friends to lovers trope

As a romance reader (watcher) one of my favorite tropes has to be that of friend to lover. Mr Knightly & Emma, Harry & Sally, Chandler & Monica...

For me, the relationships are always deeper because the people involved know so much more about each other. It also seems as if the relationships have a better chance of weathering the tests of time - after all their friendship has lasted through its own tests.  They are not just learning surface things about each other (they know those things already) they are learning to look below the surface. Finally, it seems more like love, and less like infatuation.

Being that it's one of my favorites, when I found this post & article I thought I'd share bits of them, maybe they can add some more reasons to like this trope :)


Beyond the book: Friend to lover trope by Taryn Kincade.

MR KNIGHTLEY

Emma! You want our friendship to remain the same as it has always been, but I cannot desire that.

EMMA

But why? I know I make mistakes, but had you been here the last few days you would have seen how I have tried to change! Please tell me I am your friend.

MR KNIGHTLEY

I do not wish to call you my friend, because I hoped to call you something infinitely more dear.

The trope is as tried and true as the characters are to each other (at least until some annoying third wheel attempts to come between them and threaten a relationship as old and comfortable as a faded sweatshirt). They know they have each other's backs.  ... 

The conceit is particularly delicious for us, the reader or movie-goer, because we know something the hero and heroine don't:   that while they are confiding in each other as friends,   either bemoaning their lack of a sex life or dishing the deets of their relationship with someone else (someone obviously, hideously wrong) - they are absolutely, positively, awesomely right together.   We are rooting for them both. ...

One of the things that's so tantalizing and intriguing for us, the reader or viewer, about the "friends to lovers" premise is watching the way old friends go about discovering each other anew, in a more highly-charged way.   We, of course, feel a little smug and superior because we knew it all along! Don't you think that's true? We delight in watching our hero and heroine fall back on the comfortable and familiar, the things they were in "like" with all the time- even as that same crooked smile is suddenly worthy of   notice and sets them ablaze. ...

And from the comments:
"I love the friends to lovers thing, it’s about people seeing each other properly for the first tiem – out of the box they have consigned them too. I think that’s why I like boss and secretary type books too. It’s that sudden twist in a familiar relationship that changes everything."

"I think one aspect of why I like this trope so much is because the two friends already have a high degree of trust between them. So often in romance (and romantic suspense, which I really, really like) a fair bit of the novel has to show the building of trust. With friends-to-lovers the trust is there, and it presents a different challenge — not to betray the trust, but to add hope and (romantic) love and take the relationship somewhere new."

Friends who become lovers - The Telegraph
The reality is that when friends become lovers the shift in their emotions is usually gradual. In fact, it's so subtle they don't even notice it's happening until the moment a kindly hug becomes loaded with intention. Mo Kurimbokus, a relationship counsellor, says, 'Think of it like foreplay. All the time you're being friends, you're learning about each other. Subconsciously you're deciding whether you can take it further, from a friendship on to a more emotional and sexual level.'  ...

[from a real life example] Sophie and Simon have now been married seven years and have just had their first child, Maggie Mae. 'We are incredibly close,' says Sophie. 'I truly believe that because we were friends first our relationship has always functioned on a much deeper level, which is actually quite rare among couples. It's difficult for me to define why it switched focus that day of the wedding, but, looking back, I think Simon was starting to get under my skin. I'd go on dates with other men and find myself thinking about him, and once I joked that we should get together. I suppose I was testing the water to judge his reaction. Deep down I knew he already liked me when I made my move. We were sitting on the bed in his parents' spare room when he kissed me for the first time. If I'm honest it felt so familiar, and it wasn't a fire-in-the-stomach thing, but it made me very happy. All day I couldn't stop thinking what an amazing person this quiet man had become.'

If there's one thing the experts seem to agree on it's the healthy survival rates of many friend-to-lover relationships. Ray Pahl says, 'Friendship is often the basis for a deeper kind of love, one that tends to be more long-term.' While Kurimbokus adds, 'When you're friends first, there are so many qualities you're ticking off along the way. If it all adds up, then you've got a real fighting chance.'

Carnage & romance

Did a double take at the heading?
No, this is not a post about a horror-romance crossover novel, it's a fun little fun little comic strip about those who read paranormal romance, & heck, let's be honest a fair few romantic suspense novels as well. 



Not that I read carnage or smut, (clears throat), wait... I'm a paranormal romance writer with a massive collection of romantic suspense... (sigh)... okay, I'll admit to the carnage, but I deny the smut - high class all the way, baby.