Cover contest - the worst

Okay we've done Cover Cafe's best ... now for the worst :)
What no author wants and yet they have a kind of macabre fascination for me.

1st place in worst cover category

- Manda C. agreed: "It was hard to pick just one. But this one is the most egregious. Not because of the subject matter, but because it's so busy that I can't even figure out what's going on here."
- Ellen M: "The poor cover model looks like a tied-up corpse found in a dumpster, covered by a pile of junk CSI is going to have to wade through in order to determine his killer. He seems to have some kind of electrical tape holding his shoulder together, and what do Christmas lights have to do with flogging, anyway? Oh yeah, it's a Holiday Sale...ri-i-ght. Plus, his left hand looks abnormally large, kind of like Hellboy's big fist.

[After I read this comment I tried to find his left hand... I couldn't. Where to start with this one the colours,  how busy it is, I have no idea what it's trying to tell me.]

3rd place

 Okay, I should clarify here that this competition is for Romance covers. Yes, you can see the problem with this cover. My first thought was romance... really?
- Karen H. agreed: "This is worse than unromantic--it's creepy. And that's saying a lot given some of the other covers. But it's doesn't look at all like a romance and at least all the others have something that makes them look like a romance (maybe it's just partially unclothed bodies but that's more to the point than this horror novel cover)."

4th place

 - Sarah: "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. I'm choosing between Bad Photoshop, Bad Stock Imagery, Bad Cover Design or Just Plain Skeevy. And this wins every one of those categories."
- Tina: "While Flogger's Holiday Sale is a mess, this cover is just a horrible mish-mash of Photoshop editing gone wrong! 
- Stacey I-K: "OMG! Three studs with bare chests. Not to mention a very phallic train. And what plaid monstrosity is the girl wearing? My, oh, my, this is bad."
- Elisabeth: "I never thought I'd say this but there is such a thing as too many defined six packs – eww." Or Sula: "Laura Ingalls Wilder marries the Village People?"

7th place

Um... what's with the guy? drugged, bored, to stupid for words, serial killer...
- Lesley: "Hard choice, but this wins by a nose. He looks more like a serial killer than a romantic hero no wonder she can't look at him and is levitating away."
- Caren H.: "First of all, there is no connection between the guy and girl. Second, he looks mentally impaired and/or insane.

Okay, next week I'll think of something to give us a break from covers :)