Carnage & romance

2012-02-14T11:10:00.000+13:00

Did a double take at the heading?
No, this is not a post about a horror-romance crossover novel, it's a fun little fun little comic strip about those who read paranormal romance, & heck, let's be honest a fair few romantic suspense novels as well.

Not that I read carnage or smut, (clears throat), wait... I'm a paranormal romance writer with a massive collection of romantic suspense... (sigh)... okay, I'll admit to the carnage, but I deny the smut - high class all the way, baby.

Page turner

2012-02-07T10:57:00.000+13:00

Ever just want to sit and read without all the hassle of turning the pages yourself?
Loved this little video - when he's finished reading the first page, well no need to put down the coffe cup to turn it over :)

Advertising - double take (double entendre)

2012-01-31T07:31:00.000+13:00

Sometimes advertising makes you do a double take, and not for the reasons the advertiser may have intended. Sometimes, if your mind occasionally dips into the gutter, all you're left thinking is hmmmmm.

Thanks to author Tawna Fenske for spotting these.

Punctuation - it can save lives

2012-01-24T07:07:00.000+13:00

Today a topic close to many writers' hearts: punctuation. I'll be the first to acknowledge its importance even as I admit it's really not my strong point.

A few fun pics that tickled my fancy punctuation-wise this week:

And I think we'll end it there this week :)

song - Baby Got Books

2012-01-17T07:05:00.000+13:00

As you all know I'm a paranormal romance writer, and I read a lot of romance of all genres, what you may not know is that I'm also a fantasy fiend. The fatter the book, the longer the series, the more likely I am to pick it up.

Fantasy author Jim Hines has done a laugh out loud (well it made me lol anyway) parody song mocking of the fantasy tome :)

Baby Got Books

Baby Got Books
by Jim C. Hines
(with apologies to Sir Mixalot)

(Intro)
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her book.
It is so big. You could, like,
Fend off a rabid jaguar.
But, you know, who even reads those genres?
She only wants dragons and swords.
It’s not like that’s real literature, right?
I mean, her book, is just so big.
I can’t believe it’s just so thick, it’s like
Swollen, I mean - wow. Look!
It’s just so … fat.

I like big books and I cannot lie.
You other readers can’t deny
That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind
Like a hardbound brick of win.
Story bling.
Wanna swipe that thing
Cause you see that boy is speeding
Right through the book he’s reading.
I’m hooked and I can’t stop pleading.
Wanna curl up with that for ages,
All thousand pages.
Reviewers tried to warn me.
But with that plot you hooked
Me like Bradley.
Ooh, crack that fat spine.
You know I wanna make you mine.
This book is stella ’cause it ain’t some quick novella.

No time for writers
Whose work is much slighter.
One-shot plot, over quicker than a nickel slot.

I’m tired of magazines,
Tellin’ stories with just three scenes.
Take a fantasy fan and ask ’em if
They’d rather read Tolkien, so…

Readers (yeah), readers (yeah)
Go get Martin’s brand new book (hell yeah).
Well read it, read it, read it, read it, read that hefty book.
Fantasies fat.

(Bulging shelves with the epic plotlines)

I like ’em thick and dense.
Good stories should be immense.
I just can’t stop myself.
I’m readin’ all of Wheel of Time,
Now where’s my Goodkind?
I wanna read Durham,
Scott Lynch and Pete Hamilton,
I don’t like my tales too quick.
Save flimsy old plots for SyFy flicks.
I want a twenty page prologue.
To write up on my blog.
Books with mad sequels.
Readers know they ain’t got no equals.
So I’m walking through my bookstore.
Searching the shelves for books I adore.
You can keep those slim things.
I want my novels like Rowling’s.
A word to the hard core writers.
Go pull an all-nighter.
I want that book wider.
But I gotta be straight when I say I’m gonna read
’Til the break of dawn.
Zelazny’s got it goin’ on.
A lot of folks don’t like ’em long.
’Cause them punks even skim the Brothers Grimm.
But I’d rather read it slow
’Cause I’ll savor the flavor
And I’m down to get the fiction on.

So bookstores (yeah), bookstores (yeah),
If you want me comin’ in through your doors (yeah),
Then turn ’em out,
Face ’em out,
Let me browse until I shout.
Fantasies fat.

(Bulging shelves with the epic plotlines.)

Yeah baby
When it’s my library,
Kirkus ain’t got nothing to do with my selection.
Anathem, Way of Kings, and Cyteen,
Sweetest sight I’ve ever seen.

So you only read the Cliff Notes,
Frightened off by the slightest bloat,
Well your mind is gettin’ swindled, ’cause the stories just dwindle.
My brand new Kindle is obese with books ten megs apiece.
You can do e-books or paper, but please don’t trim that book.
Some editors’ll say to cut that,
And tell you trim twelve chapters of fat.
So you slash and delete it.
But I’m sayin’ I want to read it.
Now some folks want ’em thin.
Well I say that’s a sin.
Gimme font that’s small, that’s a true temptation,
Something big like Foundation.
It’s the doorstop books that’ll make me grin.
Want to steal that thing.
Give me that tome I’m taking it home.
’Cause reading is in my genome.
Some critic she tried to dis
The books that were on my list.
She said Williams was dull and dreary.
McCaffrey just made her weary.
But writers if your book is fat,
And you’re sick of those one-star prats,
Click my contact link and e-mail me, ’cause this is where it’s at.
Fantasies fat.

Drawings of the wind

2012-01-11T18:58:00.001+13:00

I thought we'd start the year a little esoteric. Weird but kinda cool :)

Below are some drawings based on wind algorithms, by artist Peter Jellitsch.

http://peterjellitsch.com/